For My Son's Worth
by CeliseShipper
Summary: After a terrible accident, Carly's is left heartbroken and with a marraige starting to fall apart. Somehow, she will make it through. There is no creddie, minor seddie  may stay friendship  so EVERYONE should like it. Not the same Brad from iOMG. Rated
1. Milk

"I'm so excited!" Carly said, watching Brad paint the walls of the the nursery blue. "It's only a couple of weeks!"

Brad smiled. "You probably shouldn't be in here- with all the paint fumes, you know."

"Oh," said Carly, "I'll-just go check on Damian," she said, going to her older sons bedroom.

"Mommy," said three-year old Damian when she got there, "Can we name the baby Spiderman? Like you know, the superhero? Or can we name him The Hulk? I think he would like that name."

Carly laughed. "I already told you Damian Spencer, we're naming him Matthew, Matthew Fredward."

"Good thing I'm not having a sister. She would just play with dolls all day. Now I get to play trucks with Matthew. What can I call him? You know, like a nickname, like you and dad call me Dammy or Damo or the Dame Man."

Carly laughed to herself. The 'Dame Man'. Freddie had picked out that one. Freddie was Damian's favorite uncle (which made Spencer extremely jealous, he often exclaimed, 'But I'm the cool one! Freddie's just a nerd!') , and it was especially special when he visited, considering he moved all the way out to Atlanta, Georgia with Paige when they got married. And when they got divorced, Freddie had stayed there. He had talked about meeting back up with Sam there. Carly hadn't seen Sam since college, considering that Sam's art career took her all around the world, something that Spencer could have only dreamed of. Of course Sam had called Carly and written her a card when she got married, had Damian, but Carly hadn't heard anything other than that.

Dame hugged his mother goodnight, and Carly went back into her bed. Brad was still painting in the room next door. Carly wanted the baby extra close. The nursery was furnished with brand new baby things for little Matty, and everything would be perfect for Carly's second child.

Everything.

Wait! She had forgotten! They were out of milk and Damian always had cereal for breakfast! Carly said her goodbye's to Brad, and hopped in the Car in her PJ's, tummy almost hitting the steering wheel. Most mother's would have their child eat something else for breakfast and get milk later on, but this was just the kind of mother Carly was. Ready to do anything for her child.

"DUUUDDEEE" said Riley, wasted, "We need more beeeeeeeerr" he said, leaning on his equally intoxicated friends shoulder.

"Totally, maaaaan" said Tomas, grinning. "Can you go get it? I want to stay here and see what the happy man on the moon says to meee neeeexxtttt. He gives greeeaaaaat adviiiiiiiiiiceeee"

So Riley, his walking uneven and almost falling at every step, hopped into his car, which he had driven to that very spot in the woods to he and Tomas could drink without being spot. It was only their drunk brains that lead Riley into town that night.

Riley drove across the road, swerving in some places considering that he had no idea what he was doing. He didn't see the woman in the car crossing the intersection, he didn't even notice his red light.

And that moment would be a scar on the fifteen-year old boys life forever, because of what he did that night.

The light turned green, and Carly slowly crossed the intersectin. She felt Matthew kicking, and looked to her left just in time to see an SUV coming straight her way.  
> <p>


	2. When I wake up

Chapter 2. I don't care what you do just review! It is short, and I apologize for that, but I couldn't really make this chapter longer without flip flopping subjects.

Carly woke up. She saw a bird outside her window. A bluebird, sitting on a branch. It flew away once she looked at it. It tweeted it's little lulliby.

She saw Brad asleep in the chair next to her. His blond hair was a mess. She felt a mess. She had no recolection of anything, why was she here?

She looked around the room. She was in a hospital room, it's walls white and bare. There was no feeling whatsoever, just a feeling that you were not in here for a good thing, and they didn't do anything to help liven that up for you.

That's when she noticed the lack of baby in her stomach. Did she already have Matthew? Her heart lept with joy, and then sunk almost as quickly. Where was he? Where was her little baby boy that she had carried and cared for for the last nine months of her life?

Why couldn't she remember any of it?

That is when Carly remembered. She got a pang as she remembered seeing the SUV, hurtling straight toward her, and remembered the impact as it T-Boned her in the drivers side.

She shouldn't have been driving nine months pregnant, milk or not. Good mother or not.

She must have been letting out some sort of sound, maybe a groan or a whimper, because Brad woke up beside her. She looked him in the eye.

"Where is-" she started. She only started. After that he just turned away, but not before Carly saw the start of tears in his eyes.

No.

No.

Then she remembered everything. The pain, the bleeding. The ambulance ride, Brad by her side, her having to give birth to a baby that wouldn't cry, and wouldn't breath. A baby the doctor's could not get to survive. She remembered not being able to say anything. She remembered wanting to contradict Brad telling the doctor's to send the baby away without saying goodbye. He said "Get it away" even though they pleaded that them saying goodbye to Matthew would make the healing process better, and that they should. But Brad said "Get it away." Once it was dead, it didn't matter anymore to him.

But her baby was dead.

Sorry for the shortness of the chapter. I accept anon reviews! So Review! I based these two chapters off of a horror type movie I saw called "Stevie", but the rest will not be like that movie at all, if anyone here has ever seen it. 


	3. Kicking

**Hello :) I have decided that I will now add a reference to a movie in every chapter. This chapter reference's a horror movie that Lindsay Lohan was in :) There is one movie in mind that will be referenced in several chapters...but ignore this useless mumbo jumbo of words Read & Review!**

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><p>Hospital.<p>

Pain.

Crying.

Sorrow.

You can say sorry, but you aren't me. You aren't in my position.

You didn't lose your miracle.

**~~~~1 week later~~~~**

Carly couldn't explain what happened to Damian. The little brother he had been looking forward to for nine months was no longer here, no longer going to come home.

Brad couldn't talk. He no longer had a baby. No longer had another son. He lost the child he was looking forward for nine months to raise.

Carly lost her baby. The one she carried. She lost the one she called her miracle, and got her through her worst days. She lost her baby. There is nothing worse than a mother losing her baby.

**~~~~~~~~Random Flashbacks~~~~~~~~**

_She lay on her back, stressed out from a day of work, taking care of Damian, and a fight with Brad. She was emotional; a total mess. Fights with Brad were becoming more frequent, probably with the stress of the baby coming. Carly did not want to think that the two of them could ever break apart. She always wanted just one, happy marraige. No nasty divorce like what happened to her parents._

_These were the moments where Carly was most vulnerable._

_The one thing that could make Carly happy was her baby, her little miracle. There were the moments when she would put her hands on her tummy and 'kick baby, kick for me'._

_And Matthw would kick, and the world would lighten up, and she had hope for anything, any possibility that may come her way._

_Because her little miracle was there, and he was happening._

_Matthew kicking would mean anything, because Matthew was Carly's little kicker. He was the miracle that would save her. _

**~~~~~~~~End~~~~~~~**

Carly put her hand on her tummy now, sitting in bed alone.

There was no baby kicking back this time.

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><p><strong>Yeah, short chapter, but I write chapters with a topic, and I don't like putting several topics into a chapter. REVIEW I have like 2 or something. There is a great moment of joy when I look into my email and I see people have reviewed my story. I appreciate constructive criticsm and good reviews NOT FLAMES I HATE THOSE :) and follow me on twitter my name is TheFanWriter. because you know, I write for the fans. Maybe my author's note is longer than the actual chapter...hmmm...REVIEW. And I also have a really good idea for the ending, but it involves seddie, so if there are any creddiers there that don't want that, please tell me. <strong>


	4. My Sob is a noise

**Here we go. Read. :). Follow me on twitter and formspring, my name on both is TheFanWriter. This chapter is in Carly's POV by the way, to avoid further confusion. I would have put this on earlier today but fantastic hurricane Irene knocked out my power and internet. And then I accidently deleted it, so I had to re-write it. I hope you like it.**

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><p>Everyday I wake up to the sound of the alarm clock.<p>

And for a few moments, I am okay.

For those few moments, I forget.

But then it hits me. It hits me like a red bricks thrown at me from the top of the building, and I am standing at the bottom. I am alone. I am unsuspecting as to the fate that is going to come to me in moments coming.

Matthew...no longer.

That's when I start crying.

Every day a few moments after the alarm clock goes off I start crying. I pull my pillow over my face and I sob like there is no tomorrow. He will never walk or talk, he will never go to school or play sports or make mistakes because someone else's mistakes ended his oppertunity. He will never have his first kiss or get married or have children.

He will not get to have his own life. I am selfish here living mine while he is dead.

There is no tomorrow for Matty. I sob for him.

Brad used to cry with me, just a little bit, for the first few weeks. And then he would just watch me in sympathy, feeling my pain, wishing he could do something. Then he would ignore me. He would get up in the morning and do his business. He would just let me suffer in my pain. He was used to it at this point. A few weeks after that he would look over at me in the morning during my cries, like it sickened him. Like I was crying for something selfish. Like I was crying because I only got a $500,000 raise at work while I had wanted a million. He looked as if he hated me. He looked as if he hated the pain I was feeling. He hated me for my pain I could not control. But the worst is when he would sleep right through my sobs, with no recognition of them at all. Background music they became.

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><p><strong>So that is chapter...IDK. I'll see when i post it. REVIEW. Please. I want to know ALL feedback. Please, if you object a seddie ending, say so now. This chapter was based off a lifetime movie I saw. I forget what it was called, but it was also about a mother losing her son, except he was in high school when he died. Yes, fantastic movies I watch. Anyway do you love it? hate it? I won't know unless you review! :)<strong>


	5. Phone Call

Hey:) I remember the name of the Lifetime movie the last chapter was based after. It was called "The Greatest". It was pretty good but really sad. This next chapter is a phone conversation between Carly and Freddie. It is not based off of anything I just had wanted to do one of these for awhile. Also, Sam and Freddie never dated, which makes this story not go along the same storyline as the show is going on. But this is fanfiction, not fanreality. Enjoy :)

Carly: So...how is Liam doing?

Freddie: Carly I know you are just trying to avoid talking about-

Carly: Just amuse me Freddie, please?

Freddie: Carly you have to-

Carly: How would you feel if that happened to Liam? Would you want to talk about it all the time, parade it around, "my son is dead! He's never going to have a life! Spread the news!"

Freddie was silent for a long time.

Carly: sighs. I'm sorry. That wasn't fair.

Freddie: No...no it's fine. I should know how much pain you are in right now. Liam is doing well. He's six and still has the terrible two's.

Carly makes a weak laugh.

Carly: He must be a handful at times.

Freddie: Sure is.

Carly: Have you seen Sam at all?

Freddie: Not for five years when she came to town that day. I still email here though. It's scarce since she doesn't have that much time. She's back touring the world. Has she talked to you?

Carly: Yeah, she called me a lot and talked to me a lot after she heard...Of what happened. You know.

Freddie: Oh. How's Brad?

Carly: Brad is...

Carly sobs on the phone. She breaks down while thinking of the way she is feeling ignored by her husband, the person who used to love and said he would always be by her side.

Carly: I-can't handle i-it...

Freddie: That's it.

Carly: W-What?

Freddie: I'm coming out to Seattle. With Liam. I'll arrange with Joe to get an apartment near you guys. We need a change anyway, and you need somebody there for you right now.

Carly: W-What? I can't ask you to do that. What about your custody agreement with Paige?

Freddie was silent again.

Freddie: She gave him up.

Carly: What?

Freddie: She gave me full custody rights and he is officially just mine. She...didn't want to be a mother anymore. She went to Europe with her boyfriend. The last things she said to Liam was that "Mommy wants to be things that aren't your mommy anymore. She is going to make her life what she wants, and that she needs freedom to do that." She also said that he couldn't call her mommy anymore.

"What a bitch!" Carly thought.

Carly: Oh.

Freddie: SO I'll see you in Seattle in about a week?

Spread the hate on Paige. Review. I have a new collaboration account with a GREAT fanfiction author, It's called a brain, get one. She is really good check her out please! 


	6. Second Phone Call

Phone Call Convo

Carly-Please Sam, Freddie is already moving here-

Sam-I need to see you. I need to see Brad...kick some sense into that loser.

Carly-Sam please-

Sam-It's not like I am moving there. I am just taking an extended visit.

Carly-But your tour-

Sam-It can wait. I bet fans can wait a couple of months while I make my best friend feel better.

Carly-I don't know what to say...

Sam-Say yes.

Carly-Yes.

Sam-Good. I'll be in the hotel across from where you live.

Carly-SAM!

Sam-What? It's cozy. Nice art.

Carly-Soo...

Sam-What?

Carly-How...has your life been?

Sam-My life?

Carly-Your...love life.

Sam-Um...nothing.

Carly-What do you mean by nothing?

Sam-I haven't felt anything for anybody since-

Carly-Since when?

Sam-It doesn't matter. He was married, so I couldn't do anything anyway.

Carly-Freddie isn't married anymore.

Sam-I know, but still-

Carly-HAH! It is Freddie!

Sam-Oh god.

Carly-See ya in a week

Sorry for no update, been busy. 


	7. lol this chapter's short oh well

Carly's POV -  
>Been a while since an update, am I right? LOL! I hate high school. So much.<br>-

I knew something was wrong when I found the house empty when I got home from work. Brad was always here, either helping Damian with his homework or starting dinner. I ran upstairs to Damian's room. He wasn't even here.

I tried to calm myself down. "Maybe they just went out for dinner. Yes, they went to go get McDonald's. Damian's been complaning about lack of McDonald's for a week now."

But I noticed half of Damian's things were gone.

I ran into my room and noticed everything of Brad's was gone. There was an envelope on the bed.

"Dear Carly,

I hate to put it this way, but times were tough. Bad things happened. You didn't get over it. It's been over a year since the accident. You have old friends living across the street, and you listen more to them than you do your husband.

Damian's been having nightmares. About seeing you this way. It's not healthy for him.

I was trying to help you through this time...But this time has gone too long."

Sorry for such a short chapter, it just seemed like the place to end this one. And slowly adjust to get me back to writing. Lol. 


	8. 17 Years

"She is emotionally unstable, too unstable to raise a child," fought Brad's lawyer, "Look at her, she's even dazed as we speak! No job, no money, and living with her two friends in a tiny apartment. She is in no shape to take care of a child."

Carly was in fact not paying attention, and more focused on the design of the ceiling.

It had been over a year since the accident, over a year since Matthew died.

Now, she was losing custody of the child she already had.

"Make him stop!" said Sam, hissing to Carly's lawyer, "Make him stop!"

It was too late, Carly wanted to keep Damian, but she was dazed, something had been wrong with her mind every since the accident, and it had only worsened since the divorce. It was like a dark hole she could never escape from.

When Brad was given full custody of Damian, Carly didn't even notice.

Losing her job, her home, her family, Carly felt she had nothing.

She felt as if her life had fell to pieces around her, and she was not capable of picking them up.

Carly thought that this would how her life would feel forever.

Fortunately, she was wrong.

~~17 years later~~

"I am happy to award you this promotion, Miss Shay."

Carly was ecstatic, "Thank you sir, I don't know how to respond-"

"You're my best worker. You deserve it."

"I can't wait to call my son and tell him."

Running out of the building and into her cab, Carly had the largest grin she had worn in a while. Once in her cab, she pulled out her cellphone and called Damian.

"Hi mom,"

"Guess who got a promotion!"

"Gibby."

Carly rolled her eyes and she heard Damian chuckle lightly. Then there was silence for a moment.

"I'm really proud of you, mom."

"I'm really proud of me too."

Carly strolled into Sam and Freddie's apartment and sat right on the couch next to the 14 year old girl named after herself.

Sam walked out of the bathroom and spotted her. "Carly Shay, why do you always invite yourself into our house?"

"It's what you used to do to me, except you would also eat all of my food."

"I did not-"

"Yes you did," said Carly Benson, getting up, "Dad told me."

The Carly's laughed as Sam's cheeks flushed red, she didn't like to remember her worse-mannered days.

Finally, everything was starting to look up for Carly. She had already managed to get partial custody of Damian many years before, but now everything seemed great, like there wasn't a cloud in her sky.

She didn't even know there was a car coming too fast through the hairpin turn before it hit her. 


	9. The End

"Carly, can you hear me?"

"Carly, are you awake?"

"They thought you were dead!"

"You were dead!"

"Carly!"

Carly's Point of View

I thought I was dead forever, too.

The car crash nearly killed me, and caused a broken leg, two broken arms, and a broken collar.

Lucky I was alive, lucky I wasn't paralysed.

I told them I couldn't remember anything since the car crash.

I lied.

I wasn't on Earth...There was a lot of color.

Happy faces, a gate...All very blurry.

A voice told me I would have to leave soon, but there was something I had to see first. I was transported to a theatre, crowded with people. Out of the crowd, there was one boy that stood out.

I remember the boy, no the man, no was he a boy or a man? Somewhere in between. His hair and eyes were dark, but his skin pale. He wasn't looking at me. The girl next to him saw me, knew who I was, and pointed me out to him.

Once his eyes interlocked with my eyes, he smiled. The boy-man waved to me and said "Hi mom."


End file.
